Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
