Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
