I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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