If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
