I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
