for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
