Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize