hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
