girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize