well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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