I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
