it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
