dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Randomize
