I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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