then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
