tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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