Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
