My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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