So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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