i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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