I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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