Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
