i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My vagina just clenched in fear
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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