How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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