So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize