I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
