Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Duck Duck Cougar?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
