I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
