I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sext me about skeletons
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
