White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
