Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Everclear isn't food dammit
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I touched a dick in church today
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