I wanna bring you to show and tell
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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