Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize