the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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