doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
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