Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize