Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
