super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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