she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
