I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
