watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
