I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
