He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
