I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
