girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
3 2 1 whiskey
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
