2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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