dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Randomize
