Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
