We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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