we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize