she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
