dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
