Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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