a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
