I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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