quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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