and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
